i hope you dance

Credit : https://www.facebook.com/budsandbranchesphotography/

I've always said I'm not raising girls, I'm raising women. The woman I am today is a direct reflection of the women I have come into contact with over the last 40 plus years. Whether the experience is inspirational, heart-warming, frustrating or downright infuriating, I've learnt much from many.

And so on International Women's Day 2017 I cast my mind to my future hopes for my three daughters.

I hope, first and foremost, that they are happy and healthy and look forward to waking up in the morning. But if at anytime, life's path gets too rocky, I hope they have choices to help them through the difficulty days.

I hope they find comfort when they look back on their childhood. That they are warmed by the memory of dancing in the kitchen and re-tell stories of their misdemeanours to the next generation. That the music and the clothes and the photos will be looked upon with smiles because the happy outweighs the sad.

I hope they seek guidance from the women in their family and friendship circles.  That they know who to turn to and to trust when, maybe, I am not enough. Right now, the women who fill our lives are honest and loving and spiritual and hilarious and carry each other in their hearts.

I hope they develop a voice that enables them to speak up for themselves, to speak out against wrongs, to ask for support when they feel downtrodden, to give advice when they are experienced enough to provide it. To say sorry but only if they mean it.

I hope they achieve what they set out to achieve.  That they follow their passions and share their enthusiasms and that they are able to carve escapes out of their ruts.  That they are encouraged by other women to succeed and then, in turn, lower the ladder for others to follow.

And lastly, I hope that they can spend time with each other to smile and laugh and cry and argue. That their sisterly ties become secure over time, distance and life. And I hope they dance together in their kitchens.

run the world (girls)

Birthdays are not simple things at TwickersTowers. There is always a theme. Makeshift entertainment. Homemade costumes. Well usually.

This March Little E requested a Superhero Party. Iron Man was the hero of choice having rejected the once favourite Spiderman; although there was deep consideration of Batman and Thor beforehand. Her invite was a bit of fun splicing Little E's head onto various superhero bodies. It was at this point that I realised I had more of a choice of male bodies than female.

BigL chose Storm from the X-Men. MiddleS dressed up as Supergirl. They worked hard cobbling outfits from what they had in their wardrobes. But to be honest when they were looking for inspiration on the net, there were slim pickings to start with. Once you clear out the inappropriate leather clad, boob-a-licious costumes there is little left for a young girl to choose from.

Male superheroes costumes are comically beefed-up for kids now highlighting their strength and power. Often masked or cloaked the blokes get to create a sense of mysticism, foreboding and intrigue. And what of the women? Waists pinched to the bellybutton, possibly exposed. Breasts and nipples protruding from skin-tight bodices. Skimpy skirts that barely shield buttocks. Hi-leg briefs that proclaim a recent visit to a waxing salon. So the upshot of our female heroine (always a difficult word to use in the classroom - heroine: double meanings and all that) is that she is available, provocative, probably cold,  and in need of a well-fitting bra.

Recent manifestations of female characters in superhero movies has seen them become more powerful, independent, smart, holding a more pivotal role in the narrative. Yet still, if you chuck a female superhero's name into a search engine - thar she blows: pouty lips and glistening thighs. Yes I did only type 'female superheroes'. Honest. Obviously there are a child-friendly costumes for these characters but if, like us, you do cheap n cheerful costumes, then Goggle images becomes your inspiration. Chuck in the decades of wistful princesses and fairies before Merida the Brave stormed onto our screens, and as usual we are battling the representation and perception of the female form. 

Isn't it time we stopped re-hashing old superheroes and created some fantasy characters that entitle our little girls to privilege and  empowerment?

let's hear it for the girls

The next generation of our family is girl strong. Alongside me, my sis and my sis-in-law there are eight girls. The menfolk may joke (and secretly fear no doubt) the special week every month where they will hide and quiver in the garden waiting out the PMT storm, but really we don't know what to expect with these girls. And that's fantastic.

We have created a family hub where no-one is typecast. Our girls are already so different to each other and so much the same: mainly in the cute, cheeky and chutzpah departments.

I wonder if other parents of girls get told by parents of boys that it must be so much easier raising girls. I'd be interested to know the parameters being used to define 'easier'!

Our house is chaos personified and that's all good. On any one day there will be reading, shouting, running, dressing up, playing rugby, singing, doing maths, being daft, fighting, playing minecraft, tidying their room, being clever, stomping upstairs, playing football, discovering stars, colouring, having time out on the stairs, setting the table, doing ballet, getting muddy, laughing with their friends, doing their hair, getting told off, giving us cuddles.

They love to hear their own voices and use them really loudly, especially when we are in public spaces. But every night they lie in one room silently turning pages lost in stories from Harry Potter to Rainbow Magic Fairies to Dennis the Menace.

I love that they are encouraged and empowered to explore interests of their choosing. At home and at school. And whilst they may not encounter the murky waters of sexism just yet, I hope the strength and vitality that they show now will remain with them in future years.

This post is linked up with Sticky Fingers : The Photo Gallery no.224 : Girls