Parents: let’s talk about sext-ing. We parents
really need to get a grip with this subject. It's all well and good that
investigations happen, reports are written, the powers that be tell other
powers what to do, infomercials / sex ed / e-safety classes are taught.
But now it's our turn to step up before
all these authorities get involved. Under
age sexual violence is a thing: child on child assaults are happening in our
schools; sexual harassment, sexual bullying, sharing of sexual imagery.
With the rise of kids easily accessing the
internet and all its evils, there has been an incredibly quick shift of
knowledge among the young. The sneaky
top shelf peeks that were dared in days gone by are now on a screen in a pocket
being shared on the way to school. The embarrassment
of hiding your private parts in changing rooms is replaced by the desire to
send pics of your bits over the WWW.
Porn is no longer taboo. A quick
fumble behind the bike sheds has gravitated to a graphic, violent act.
Look I don't have solutions for this
problem. My eldest is
leaving primary school and we’re only now on the daily 'will she or won't she
get a mobile' debate.
What I don’t get is why? Why? Why?
Why? They have the learning, knowledge, expertise
(more than most of us parents) to understand the dangers and the potential repercussions.
So why don’t they seem to realize that the photos of their penises and vaginas
can be viewed by the whole damn world? And that when they grow up and apply for
jobs that those penis and vagina pics will still be there?
Is this the equivalent of us, back in the
day, doing the unprotected shuffle and praying for the monthly visitor? Or waking
up in the morning with a foggy head from the night before vowing never to touch
that ‘stuff’ again?
So what do we do? Some parents say trust
your child. Some parents vow never to
give their daughters a phone again after discovering they’ve been sending naked
photos to a strange man in a strange country.
Is it simple enough to just hope that we have raised a kid well enough
and leave the rest to the schools?
I don’t believe it is. I know we can’t wrap them in cotton wool but
just as I choose not to let my pre-teen daughters stay up watching telly after
the watershed, I have to make a choice about their current access to the internet. If that means they’re the only one with a
crappy brick of a phone or they have to use any devices in downstairs rooms with
mum or dad in it until the dangers are explained and consequences understood.
An honest look at the real consequences is
shown on ITV’s police drama: Scott & Bailey which depicts an officer’s 16
year old daughter being arrested, charged and possibly placed on the sex
offenders register for taking consensual sexual photos of her 15 year old
boyfriend. If it wasn’t after 9pm I’d
consider letting my eldest watch the relevant bits but I guess she’ll
have to put up with some mum truths instead and that’s before she gets a mobile
in her hand.