Wednesday, 25 March 2015

hey girl hey boy



Before the stork dropped three daughters on my doorstep I had secretly wished I wanted boys. Somehow I thought it might be easier to raise sons than girls? Why? Who knows? After teaching for so many years in a London comp maybe I worried about the impact that boys have on girls. The way that smart, independent, strong girls transform into doe-eyed, giggly, hair-swishing monsters between years eight and nine (that's ages 13-14 in old money) drove me crazy in the classroom. But deep down there was the fear that I could one day open the door to a crying, distraught, pregnant teen or a daughter that had been molested or raped. I appreciate that there are loads of great teen moms - I've taught a couple and was raised by one - and boys can be abused too. But hey this is my story; my world; my scary thoughts.

Back to me and the stork. So anyway I was overjoyed at the arrival of happy, healthy girls - of course. And me and the GeordieLad soon came to realise that the way we raise them plus the way they want to be equalled the girls we have in this house. But this post is supposed to be about boys - shouts The Gallery collective Yes, yes I'm getting there.

If you were to take a look around the 3G's domain you'd find garages, cars, dinosaurs, space stuff, football, rugby, Thomas the Tank Engine, Beast Quest, Rory the Racing Car, Spiderman (oh he's King in our house), and now Iron Man amongst the pink and the Barbies. 

Two out of the 3G play rugby for our local club. Two out of the 3G refuse categorically to wear anything other than trousers for their school uniform. In fact one of the 3G will only wear clothes from the 'boys' section. Hey ho. Life's too short for arguing. 

The thing is me and the GeordieLad are all good with this. It seems that other people have the problem. I spent many of the toddler years coaxing aforementioned two into frilly dresses that well-meaning friends and family would buy for them. The look of shock when I proudly mention BigL's latest triumph on the rugby field (and no the shock is not because she's playing rugby at ten years old). And then there's this... a playground mother after discovering that I had three girls asking me if that was the reason I was raising my youngest child 'as a boy - because you wanted a boy but don't want any more children'.

Purlease.

This post is linked up with Sticky Fingers The Gallery no223 Boys

14 comments:

  1. This is just brilliant Elsie. Brilliant. I love that your girls know exactly who they want to be and are grabbing life by the whatnots and living it.
    I have a girl just like this. She also plays rugby and for the longest time wanted to look just like her older brother. She's kinda coming out of that phase now and 'girlification' is creeping in, but it's all from her and she is totally happy with that.
    Glad you can laugh about the playground comment - for it is a joke :-)

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    1. Thanks for the comment. Yeah right now I do feel that my girls rock! Regarding the comment though - unfortunately it wasn't a joke. She was really serious! But yes I laugh because it's soooo not true!

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  2. nice post, I spend many hours on 'girls can .....' teaching girls not to be held back by gender. Sounds like yours are free spirits and I love this. There's too much lace in life already, let's hear it for the muddy legs :)

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    1. Hi thanks for commenting. To be honest I'm a little relieved as I was that kinda girl too!

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  3. It's good to hear that there are no 'rules' in your house either - and neither should there be! I'm a big fan of letting girls discover their own world and passions, and I love the fact that not just one but both are playing rugby. That's hard core...I bet the competition in your house is fierce at times!
    As a mummy to a boy & a girl, I often think there is more acceptance for girls who are 'tom boys' than for boys who like to dress up as princesses, so it sort of works both ways
    Nice post
    #Bloglovin

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    1. Absolutely agree. The social constraints are often too binding. I have the view that our kids will find the way that works best for them. These colour rules, clothes rules, toy rules just stifle them. Thanks for the comment

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  4. This is excellent. Love this #thegallery x

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    1. Thanks! I look forward the #thegallery challenges every week.

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  5. It's this thing about the society; they want you to be yourself, but not the way that would make them uncomfortable. And your girls are lucky to have a mom like you.

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    1. Hello! Thanks - what a lovely thing to say! I absolutely agree and I really hate the label 'tomboy' that is used for them. They are girls...end of!

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  6. Your girls sounds amazing, and I love your attitude towards their gender. I have always tried to raise mine in a way that allows them to find out what their gender means/is to them. It is their to own and explore and develop, not mine to mould for them

    Mollyxxx

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    1. Thanks for the comment. I wholeheartedly believe they should just be..who they be. Middle daughter is wired differently and that's cool too

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  7. Great post - and great photo. #girlpower

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