i hope you dance

Credit : https://www.facebook.com/budsandbranchesphotography/

I've always said I'm not raising girls, I'm raising women. The woman I am today is a direct reflection of the women I have come into contact with over the last 40 plus years. Whether the experience is inspirational, heart-warming, frustrating or downright infuriating, I've learnt much from many.

And so on International Women's Day 2017 I cast my mind to my future hopes for my three daughters.

I hope, first and foremost, that they are happy and healthy and look forward to waking up in the morning. But if at anytime, life's path gets too rocky, I hope they have choices to help them through the difficulty days.

I hope they find comfort when they look back on their childhood. That they are warmed by the memory of dancing in the kitchen and re-tell stories of their misdemeanours to the next generation. That the music and the clothes and the photos will be looked upon with smiles because the happy outweighs the sad.

I hope they seek guidance from the women in their family and friendship circles.  That they know who to turn to and to trust when, maybe, I am not enough. Right now, the women who fill our lives are honest and loving and spiritual and hilarious and carry each other in their hearts.

I hope they develop a voice that enables them to speak up for themselves, to speak out against wrongs, to ask for support when they feel downtrodden, to give advice when they are experienced enough to provide it. To say sorry but only if they mean it.

I hope they achieve what they set out to achieve.  That they follow their passions and share their enthusiasms and that they are able to carve escapes out of their ruts.  That they are encouraged by other women to succeed and then, in turn, lower the ladder for others to follow.

And lastly, I hope that they can spend time with each other to smile and laugh and cry and argue. That their sisterly ties become secure over time, distance and life. And I hope they dance together in their kitchens.

i'm every woman

When this week comes around there are reams of online reading raising the profile and highlighting the names and careers of women past, present and future. We are educated about the challenges, the successes and the aspirations of the woman in the street, on the screen, in our homes, in power - of their lives and the lives of others.

Surveys and Twitter feeds ask us to nominate the leading women in our world; who has inspired us and who are our role models?

The answer to this is easy for me and I'd often trip off a few names; Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Malorie Blackman, Michelle Obama, Shonda Rimes, Caitlin Moran, Sophie Okonedo, Malala Yousafzai, Maggie Alphonsi, Kelly Holmes, Maggie Aderin-Pocock If I could create a wallpaper with their faces on I would decorate my house as a daily reminder to my daughters of what they could achieve and who's lives they can be inspired by.

This year I'm thinking a little differently. My career break has given me back a wealth of time, which in turn has opened my eyes and ears to the women in my family and friendship circles that are just wonderfully amazing and I love that they are part of my 40+ years.

To the women who share my bloodline. You are the women who have smiles that open up a history of motherhood and sisterhood and parenthood. When oceans and motorways and disagreements have divided our families you have manoeuvred mountains to bring us closer together so that our children may learn from our past in order to secure their future and also watch us dance and groove in our inimitable way. We are fiercely protective together, lovingly gentle and wise between our generations. I love you all.

To the women I have met through my decades. You are the women that share my tragedies of hairstyles, that approved (or disapproved) of menfolk, that lent shoulders when those menfolk were not the right ones, that raised my spirits when I was sinking, that pushed me higher when I was choosing to settle.  When I shutdown in radio silence you are the women that text-nag me, that remind me you are there, that shake my happy out of the gloom.  We are hilarious together and without words can start a belly laugh or cut a side-eye about the one, same thing. I love you all.

At birthdays, at marriages, at funerals, in the classrooms, in the pubs and clubs, in the coffeeshop, in the park, at the school gate, in the office, online, in your house and always in my house you have stood with me and I hope you will grant me the honour of standing with you - in our Wonder Woman power pose - today and tomorrow.

Happy International Women's Day.